Thursday, January 25, 2007

All of Them, All of Them

All Lined Up...


I have wanted for little since I moved back home. There is no lack. And the living is most certainly easy. I am awake. I see the sun going purple and orange and blue and grey in the sky, silhouetting a naturescape of palm trees, century-old buildings, and Florida's intracoastal highway. I see my doggie Tala's enduringly, relentlessly kind, hopeful, and longing eyes. I see my 101-year-old grandmother, with the spirit of a child, eating chocolates in her rocking chair. I laugh so much, and am beginning to enjoy that my life has become longer, to enjoy the advantage of experience and perspective, the beauty of it, the wonder of it. As Carmella Soprano once said, "Our very existence on this earth is a puzzle."


I'm getting deeper in my soul, awakened by an ever-burgeoning sense of awareness. It's awesome. I even love lotsa pop songs again, like I did when I was a kid, before pretensions rose their ailing heads and separated my mind from my soul a little bit. It's fun getting back to it.


P.S.

  • I am longing to become a regular smoker of those new Camel No. 9's, made especially for the lady's discering palette.
  • I've become a diet coke addict. I love the efferfescent sweetness it brings to your being as it settles on ice. I love it in a can.
  • Altoids now makes these delicious dark-chocolate-covered peppermints, which really help clear up your breath. Chocolate, purportedly, dissolves offensive mouth odors better than mint. So, we see the possibilities of that here.
  • I want Mark Osborn to begin making monthly mix CDs to keep me on the scene.
  • Band of Horses is playing St. Augustine in March.
  • I'm going to see Yo La Tengo and Sun Ra Arkestra February 2.
  • Tomorrow is Friday.
  • Hillary Clinton's running for President!

Monday, January 08, 2007

The Good Life

We work in the dark.
We do what we can.
We give what we have.
-- Henry James

I've entered a whole new world of seeing. A new realm of experience. So filled with joy. Panic attacks every once in a while, but has eased enormously, and I am content. I identify with others instead of compare. I find that giving really is so much better than receiving. I am becoming an active participant of my life. It feel good to feel a part of instead of apart from. It feels good to open my heart, ease out denial, ease out fear, ease out all the anger and meanness that goes with it. Feels good to truly take care of myself. To pursue what I love without thinking of the end result, of feeling as if I need to prove myself to anyone. Creating for creation's sake, for the earthly, even heavenly pleasure of creative satisfaction. I work in the dark. I do what I can. I give what I have. My scope has widened, my well deepened. My reach stretches further, without strain. My world felt very small and terrifying for a very long time. Today it is huge, without limit, and filled with a love ever deepening, ever expanding. Experience and understanding are two very different things. From the terrified mind to the rhythmic, beating heart, where life goes red and raw and true. Experience kicks the ass of understanding. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Pour in love and thou shalt draw out love. You are what you perceive. Wherever you go, there you are. Cliches are cliches because they're proven truths. And it's the cliches, Jeannette Winterson once said, that get you in the end. But today, that's a good thing.

Friday, January 05, 2007

I Used to Beat that Block Now I Be's the Block


Partner Let Me Upgrade U

Uh Huh Ha HA
Uh Huh Ha HA

I Heard U Be the Block
But I'm the Light that Keeps the Streets On
Heard U the Type that Like to Keep 'Em on a Leash Tho
I Walk Alone/But I'm Alone for a Reason
Sendin' Me a Drink Ain't Appeasin' Believe Me

Come Harder
This Won't Be Easy
Don't Doubt Yourself
Trust Me, You Need Me...

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

I am a little white girl with a jam. I can't get enough of Beyonce, and damnit if I don't sound silly when I try to sing those words, but lord, let me tell you I FEEL 'em.

The other hit I'm loving is Regina Spektor's "That Time."

Hey Remember that Time I Found a Human Tooth/
Down on Delancey?
Hey Remember that Time We Decided to Kiss Anywhere
Except the Mouth?
Hey Remember that Time When My Favorite Colors Was Pink & Green?
Hey Remember that Month When I Only at Boxes of Tangerines -- So Sweet & Juicy!
Tangerines...

(I must commend Team Candler-Osborn on the most excellent mix. Thank You!)

My heart is like a song today. I am more open from the inside out, enjoying the freedom that comes with letting go and feeling the bigness of the world around you. I am so glad to be free of poisonous obsessions, so glad to be able to give myself to others in a more honest way.

So. Like Beyonce Say...I'm Upgraded, and I don't need no Cartier cufflinks or 6-star pimp suites to know it, though the latter would be nice. I'm gonna go take my wicked pretty dog for a walk around the lake now.

Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.

Monday, January 01, 2007

You're The Top


Happy New Year!

Quiche, Mimosas (Diet Coke for Me), Meerkat Manor, Exotic Fruit, Tala the Wolf Dog, P-Nut the Ancient Beagle who Likes to Get Her Azz Smacked, and Beauregard (French Accent), the Laid-Back Lapso-Opso(sic) Mutt. Grey Sky outside, palm trees, and old towers lining the sky. A day full of hope and love and humor and family. So.

To all my loved ones far and near, I thank you for your hearts of fire, for your wonderful minds, for your amazing humor, and for your love. Happy New Year! This one's for you (you know who you are!)

"You're the Top" by Cole Porter, from Selected Lyrics: Cole Porter. © Library of America. Reprinted with permission (buy now)

You're the Top

At words poetic
I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best
Instead of getting them off my chest,
To let 'em rest, unexpressed.
I hate paradin'
My serenadin'
As I'll probably miss a bar.
So if this ditty
Is not so pretty,
At least it will tell you how great you are.

You're the top.
You're the Coliseum.
You're the Top.
You're the Louvre Museum.
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss.
You're a Bendel bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet, you're Mickey Mouse!
You're the Nile
You're the Tower of Pisa.
You're the smile
On the Mona Lisa.
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop!
But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top.

You're the top.
You're a silver dollar.
You're the top.
You're an Arrow collar.
You're the nimble tread on the feet of Fred Astaire.
You're an O'Neill drama, you're Whistler's mama, your Camembert.
You're the pearl
That the divers fetch up.
Milton Berle
And tomato ketchup.
I'm a toy balloon that's fated soon to pop.
But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top!

You're the top.
You're a new invention.
You're the top.
You're the fourth dimension.
You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain.
You're the National Gallery, your Garbo's Salary, you're cellophane.
You're romance.
You're the steppes of Russia.
You're the Pants
On a Roxy usher.
I'm a broken doll, a folderol, a flop!
But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top!

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